Random Plunnies
by The Literary Dragon
Summary: This is where I will be posting stories written for the iy blind fanfic challenge community. Touchable: If Inuyasha can just find the magic bottle, then Kagome will like him best again! -2nd place winner-
1. Promise Me Forever

_This story was first uploaded on iyblind, an Inuyasha fanfic challenge community on livejournal, on June 19, 2008._

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

PROMISE ME FOREVER

I flung myself at the wall of my prison, snarling in frustration as it melted out from under my claws. Almost immediately it reformed, mocking me. The surface was solid when I thunked my fist against it, but as insubstantial as a dream every time I tried to slice through it. And almost as irritating. Twitching my ears with barely suppressed rage, I scanned the four white walls. Damn! No way out. White mist eddied around my feet, forming strange shapes with half-remembered names. But they were gone before I could get a good look.

"Show yourself, asswipe!" I roared at the unresponsive ceiling. "Where are you?" Growling under my breath, I started pacing around the room. The bastard would pay for trapping me like this! Yes, he would pay! He...

My thoughts trailed off as I tried to remember just who had trapped me like this. Things were so fuzzy. I couldn't remember. Snatches of faces drifted through my memory, irritatingly just out of reach. There was a girl with brown eyes and black hair. And a shadowy figure wrapped in a baboon pet. And who was the tall individual with a white pelt draped over his shoulder?

My head started to ache. This wasn't getting me out. I'd figure out who these people were later. Up high, where the wall met the ceiling was a slightly discolored spot. Maybe if I hit it just right...

"Calm yourself, Inuyasha."

The unfamiliar voice startled me. I jerked and stumbled forward a couple of steps before catching myself. Finally! The bastard had appeared. Probably to gloat. Well, I would show whoever that trapping the great Inuyasha was a mistake... their last mistake. I whipped around, hoping to catch the asshole by surprise.

A small white rabbit youkai stood behind me, but there were no doors showing how she got into the room. She held an ordinary brown clipboard in her hands.

A rabbit? I tried to keep the surprise off of my face. I sniffed the air, searching for hidden danger. The little youkai smelled of clean white snow and moonlight, but I refused to relax. She could be more dangerous than she appeared.

"How do you know my name, bitch?" I snarled. Actually, I wondered how I remembered my name when I had forgotten everyone else's. I sank into a crouch and flexed my claws. Let her see that I was dangerous. "You'd better let me out of here if you know what's good for you! I have to get back to... to..." The name eluded me, leaving only a memory of a strange green and white outfit. Better bluff. "... the annoying bitch with the weird clothes!"

The rabbit youkai sighed. "Too strong. This is what happens when the Shikon no Tama is involved. Well, come along." She gestured at a door I swore hadn't been there before.

I refused to budge. My memories may have had more holes than substance, but I wasn't an idiot. "Why should I go anywhere with you?"

"Suit yourself." The rabbit youkai shrugged. "Stay here in the holding cell if you want. Less paperwork for me."

I glared at the retreating back of the rabbit. She disappeared into the white mist that filled the doorway. No way was I going in there. Slowly, the edges of the door began to grow fuzzy and turn into the wall again. My safe little cell? Or the unfamiliar abyss? Of course I was staying. I'm not an idiot. I... oh shit, the door was fading fast! With a muttered curse, I stomped through the door and almost ran over the youkai waiting on the other side. She nodded and continued her purposeful march down the hallway. Damn, but she was fast for such a little youkai. I tried to stretch my stride without appearing to hurry. Doors faded and reappeared at irregular intervals. My breath started to come in harsh pants. When she stopped, I almost ran over the top of her.

"We're here."

I rocked back on my heels. "Warn me when you're going to stop like that," I snarled, trying to catch my breath. Great, another room.

"Thank you, Kasumi. You may go now."

I nearly jumped out of my skin again. To my right was some kind of cat youkai (a snow leopard if I had to guess) holding a clipboard identical to Kasumi's and wearing a very bored expression. Kasumi bowed and stepped though one of the briefly appearing doors. She and the door vanished almost immediately.

I was very rattled by this time. So much was happening and none of it made any sense. When at a disadvantage, attack first. "Who the fuck are you? What did you do to me? Where's what's-her-name and the annoying runt with the bushy tail?" Why couldn't I remember anything?

"Name's Hikari. Follow me, Inuyasha. There are procedures to follow." She stepped through another reappearing door, shaking her head and muttering, "Too strong. Midoriko and her misguided quest for balance. As if we weren't busy enough."

For a brief moment, I considered ignoring the cat's stupid order. But, then again, whatever lay beyond couldn't be worse than freaky disappearing doors and creepy mist.

Hikari barely looked up as I barreled into the room. It was virtually identical to the one I had awakened in, but with the addition of a chair and desk in the middle of the room.

"Now then. You are Inuyasha, correct?"

What a stupid question! She'd already called me by name. But she seemed to be waiting for an answer. I gave an irritated grunt. With a slight eye roll, Hikari began reading from her clipboard.

"Son of the great Dog Youkai Lord of the West and a human mother. Half-brother to a full-blooded dog youkai. 'Killed' or 'enchanted' by a powerful miko, guardian of the Shikon no Tama. Companion to a houshi, a taijiya, a kitsune, and a human girl. Rival to the wolf youkai prince and enemy to..." here she paused and flipped through several pages "... numerous creatures, both youkai and human."

I listened hard without trying to appear interested. Damn. Some of it sounded familiar, but it was all a jumbled mess in my head. The mention of the wolf in particular made me want to put my fist through a wall, or a smirking face.

"What the hell is going on?" I braced my feet and yelled. Clenching my fists, I growled at the snow leopard. She refused to flinch. "If this is some kind of a new plot, I'll—"

"You're dead," Hikari interrupted. "And if you would just remember that sappy promise you made in the presence of the Shikon no Tama, you would realize why this is so complicated."

Taken totally by surprise, I gaped at her for a long moment. Finally I closed my mouth long enough to snort and say, "I can't be dead. I was just with...uhm...hell, it's on the tip of my tongue." I frowned in concentration. "Kagome! That's the name! Annoying girl who never shuts up, but looks kind of cute in that short skirt she wears."

"Right." The snow leopard nodded her head. "You promised to always remember her and that you would always find her so the two of you could spend eternity together. The Jewel, even uncompleted, tried to grant the desire."

"Meaning?"

Hikari consulted her clipboard. "You were dumped here with a faulty memory, and got moved to the head of the reincarnation list. The Afterworld may exist outside Time, but normally it takes decades or even centuries for a request like this to go through the proper channels, like it did for your little miko girlfriend last time. All it takes is the right door and a little patience to find the right vessel for your soul. But, because of the Shikon no Tama messing with the system, we are required to fulfill your wish before other, more patient, souls."

"Reincarnation?" I raised an eyebrow, but didn't relax. This sounded promising. "What are you bitches waiting for then? Reincarnate me and get me out of here!"

"There are procedures..."

"Don't care. Reincarnate now."

"Fine. Kasumi!"

The little white rabbit popped back into the room, just suddenly appearing out of thin air. She handed a sheet of paper to Hikari, keeping a small vial for herself. The annoying cat slowly read through the whole thing, ignoring me. I wanted to fidget—I even growled and deliberately examined my sharp claws—but these two seemed immune or too dense to recognize a threat. What was taking so long? I was remembering more with every passing second, the way Kagome's eyes would light up when she was angry with me, the soft touch of her hand when I was hurt, even her cute blush when she was embarrassed.

Hikari cleared her throat. "There are very few openings right now. You could be reincarnated as a daisy. Of course, there aren't any flower openings in the right century. But after a few decades you—"

Spend my next life as a fucking flower? "No."

"How about an oyster? Work hard and you might even make a pearl or two. You know that girls love jewelry."

"I ain't going to be no fucking bottom feeder. The whole deal is to be with Kagome, not spend my life on the bottom of the ocean."

"A puppy? Something soft and fuzzy? There's a litter about to be born in--"

I snorted "How clichéd can you get? I ain't spending my time drooling and sniffing butts. Think human."

"Fine." The calm and collected cat was starting to look a bit frazzled. I expected her to start hissing and spitting at any moment. My future was riding on these two, but I was starting to enjoy myself. There is nothing more exhilarating than seeing just how far you can push someone. It's a dangerous game that can only be understood by other dogs, and possibly wolves.

Hikari and Kasumi consulted in furious whispers as Hikari flipped through the list. Getting bored again, I was considering shredding the rabbit's ears just for something to do when Hikari spoke.

"There is a human opening that just came available. The date is set for August 1, 1990. He'll even be born in Tokyo. You would need memory modification that wouldn't be necessary as a plant or animal."

Kasumi held up the vial of dark purple liquid labeled 'Clean Slate.'

I frowned. Something didn't sound right. Despite the little fuzz-brain's (Shippou! That's it) assertions that I am an uneducated lout, my mother did teach me to read and count. "No fucking way! That would make me only six when Kagome is fifteen! Try again, bitches!"

Hikari growled. "Last chance, hairball! Shikon no Tama or no Shikon no Tama, we aren't paid to put up with your shit!" She stalked forward and shook the list under my nose. Well, the little kitty has claws. I almost smirked.

"You have five minutes to decide. A human soul is due to be born in Tokyo in 1979. And, before you start counting on your toes, that would make you 17. Furthermore—"

This was going too far. I growled and flattened my ears. I really hate cats, they are so uppity. "Fine. I'll take it."

"I really need to tell you—"

"What part of 'fine' don't you understand?" Now that I had a definite goal, I was getting antsy. If I never saw a cat again it would be too soon, and the next rabbit I saw had better be in a stew. "Where's the door?"

A door swung open behind the rabbit, filled with slowly swirling mist. Kasumi spoke for the first time in a long time. She held out the vial and another piece of paper. Damn, but these two seemed to like paper. "We just need you to sign this and—"

"Out of my way!" I sprang easily over the top of the little youkai.

"Wait! There's something you need to know!"

Hikari shouted something and Kasumi tried to grab me as I sped past; I actually felt her fingers snag on my sleeve. There was only one thing going through my mind. Kagome would be waiting for me. She had promised! I was filled with a burning need to see her again, to feel her smooth arms around me, even to listen to her complain about school and call me an insensitive jerk.

Darkness surrounded me. Walls started pressing closer until I could barely move. I reached for Tetsusaiga, but the sword was gone. That is when I started to panic. Maybe I should have listened to those crazy bitches. My arms and legs were pressed close to my body, and it was getting hot. And damp. It was like being enclosed in a bubble of water. Ripples vibrated through me as the walls alternately squeezed the breath out of me before relaxing enough that I was able to wiggle a few inches in the only direction left open to me: forward.

I sensed light ahead of me, even if I couldn't see it. I fought my way forward, using the undulations of the walls to speed my progress. At last I felt air on my skin, which felt cold after the heat and damp of my prison. I struggled to make my eyes adjust to the outside world again, but all I could make out were vague blurs. Drawing breath into my lungs, I let out a fierce cry. Only, somehow, it didn't sound right.

Then I was moving. It was like a giant reached down and seized control of my helpless body. I wiggled and fought, but my limbs seemed reluctant to respond to my commands. A voice, deep and too loud for my sensitive ears, boomed from somewhere above me. The tone was distorted, but I was finally able to make out the words.

"Congratulations on a healthy baby, Akemi!"

Damn it! Reincarnation! I had to start over again! Fucking childhood! At least it couldn't be as bad as the last one. I sucked more air into newborn lungs and feebly twitched an arm.

I'll find you, Kagome! We'll be together forever!

"It's a beautiful baby girl."

Shit!

_

* * *

_

**Food for Thought: **Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little story. This particular plunny has been knocking around inside my skull for months. I just finally found the time and motivation to write it._


	2. Try Again

Summary: If at first you don't succeed… Well, there's always Plan B

_This story was first uploaded on iyblind, an Inuyasha fanfic challenge community on livejournal, on July 25, 2008._

_This story has been improved by about 1000 words. If you want to read the original, lamer version, feel free to wander over to http(colon)(backslash)(backslash)community(dot)livejournal(dot)com/iyblind/9866(dot)html#cutid1_

_At least, I think it has been improved._

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha

TRY AGAIN

The early morning meadow was quiet, filled with the sleepy chirps of small songbirds that were just beginning to stir from their nests. Faint shadows cast by the surrounding trees striped the grass, growing sharper and more distinct as the sun heaved itself slowly into the sky. It was a beautiful, peaceful scene. Still, you know what they say about the quiet before the storm.

It usually leads to the mother of all disasters.

But that would be skipping ahead to the cruel end of a doomed tale.

At this point, there was still hope. A young woman, dressed in the traditional red and white outfit of a miko, stepped into the open. Eyes, which knew all too well the impersonal cruelty and hidden dangers of her world, glanced around warily at the simple clearing ringed by trees and filled with the hypnotic buzzing of bees. A quiver of arrows hung from her shoulder and she held a longbow in one hand, the slight whitening of her knuckles as she gripped the smooth wood betraying her nervousness.

She studied the clearing, appearing to search for a particular danger… or a particular person. Her shoulders slumped and she sighed, her brown eyes glazing with disappointment when no welcoming figure scuttled out to meet her. After a moment, her eyes brightened. It could be too early. Dawn was the specified time, but perhaps someone who lived by no timekeeper except his own would forget how important punctuality was to someone like her.

All she could do was wait.

The sleepy songbirds, as well schooled in avoiding danger as the miko, had instantly stilled upon her arrival. They soon sensed that this clumsy earth-bound creature would not pursue them and since she did not reach for the deadly arrows in her quiver, quickly decided to ignore her.

The miko sighed again, staring out over the rippling grass. A slight smile creased her face, as if she was remembering something happy. Then it faded. She tightened her fist around a large round jewel held in the palm of her hand. Crystal shards, strung on a rough cord, tinkled faintly as she raised that hand to her breast.

Abruptly, the chatter of wildlife ceased. The air thrummed with sudden tension. A single derisive caw of a raven pierced the silence, promising prophesies of doom. Instantly alert, she turned, raising her bow.

But it was already too late.

Sister frowned as she watched the scene play out in the Scrying Pool. With a wave of her hand, she froze the tiny figures just before the miko's angry arrow pinned the idiotic hanyou to the tree. Another gesture rewound the telling to the point where the current troubles began—the rescue of the dark soul of Onigumo.

"What are you doing, Sister?" Brother put down the tiny model of Apollo 11 and ambled over to the Scrying Pool. He peered over Sister's shoulder, watching as the miko "killed" the hanyou over and over again.

"Working," Sister muttered, looking up to frown disapprovingly at Brother. "Which is more than you're doing. Leave off playing with your future toys and help me solve this problem. Otherwise, there won't be a future and you'll never get to watch Neil Armstrong walk on the moon."

Brother glowered at Sister. Truly, she was such a bossy know-it-all. As if she knew everything. They both still had a long way to go before they could claim that. She was only the elder by almost 200 years, and she never let him forget it.

"You are such a boring old stick-in-the-pudding, Sister," he grumbled. "Why can't you loosen up and have a little fun?"

"Mud, Brother. Really, you're old enough to get the idioms right."

"Whatever." Brother snorted. "Why don't we just destroy the Shikon no Tama and end this cycle once and for all?"

"You know better than that." Sister leaned back from the Pool, stretching to relieve the kinks in her back caused from hours of being hunched over. "Time Guardians aren't allowed to destroy anything. If you'd been paying attention when Midoriko created the Shikon no Tama we wouldn't have this mess."

Sister scowled at Brother, who seemed unaffected by her disapproval. As usual. When would he ever grow up and start taking his duties seriously? Like, what was he thinking when he forgot to pay attention and their charges discovered the black powder that went boom when it was set on fire? They might have had a few more centuries reprieve from guns and cannons if he'd been paying attention.

Brother claimed that he found the loud explosions neat. Boys. They were all alike.

"Why is everything always my fault?" the subject of her ire complained. He flopped onto the rocky floor beside Sister and crossed his legs. "Besides, I don't know why you keep watching this particular segment. It already played out 20 years ago. There's nothing we can do to change anything."

Sister clenched her teeth and glared at Brother. "Because I am trying to fix things. There are many possible futures radiating from the instant when Kikyou and Inuyasha lost faith in one another. And almost all of them are bad."

"I told you this was a bad plan. A miko and a youkai are not meant to get along. And now things are even worse than they were before. Now we have that fiend Naraku thrown into the stew. The dark desires of Onigumo mixed with the greed of a horde of youkai do not make a fluffy porcupine."

"Bunny," Sister corrected crossly.

"Whatever." Brother ignored Sister's thinly veiled disapproval like he always did. Spoken language was so cumbersome. He didn't understand why she insisted on using it every time they were on duty. It made getting his point across extremely difficult.

Sister took herself and their duties too seriously. She refused to admit when she had made a mistake and plowed on until things were hopelessly tangled. Luckily, he didn't have any problems pointing out her mistakes.

He leaned forward and jabbed a finger at the Scrying Pool. "_That_ was still a bad plan."

Sister pouted. "It was a good plan. It just… didn't work out the way it was supposed to. Let's see you come up with something better."

"All right. I will." Brother frowned, staring vaguely at the rocky wall of the cave before his gaze shifted to the not-so-ordinary pool of water in front of him.

The Scrying Pool rested in a shallow depression on the cave floor, looking like an ordinary puddle of rain water. For a minute, he thought longingly of his private room, filled with model cars and lasers and things that wouldn't be invented for hundreds of years—if they managed to reverse the damage caused by the Shikon no Tama's existence. But the Scrying Pool had its own set of incomprehensible rules, and one of those was that it could only exist in a dank smelly cave filled with icky, crawling things and surrounded by uncomfortable rock.

"I'm waiting," Sister interrupted when she felt the silence had gone on so long it was entirely possible that Brother had fallen asleep.

"It was a good plan," Brother conceded reluctantly. He held up a hand to forestall Sister's triumphant smirk. "I didn't say it was a _great_ plan. But it can be. It just needs… tweaking."

"You have a better idea? Let's hear it."

Brother jumped to his feet and started pacing, ticking off points as he did so. "First, only the pure soul of a miko is capable of purifying the Shikon no Tama of evil taint."

"We _know _that," Sister said, with a peevish scowl on her face. "Why do you think I made sure the jewel found its way into Kikyou's hands?"

"Second, the problem isn't with the soul. It's with the vessel."

"Huh?"

Brother almost chuckled at the look of confusion on Sister's face. It wasn't often that he was able to confound her. "Kikyou is too much a product of her time. She deals with youkai all the time. She knows what they are capable of, and there is a small part of her that will never completely trust Inuyasha because of that."

Sister felt her face heat up. Why did Brother always mock her ideas? At least she tried. All he said was "Oops" when Atlantis disappeared beneath the waves. And he muttered a barely heard "Sorry" when Pompeii got buried under boiling lava. He made her so mad sometimes.

"Including the hanyou was a good idea," Sister muttered sulkily. The love of two creatures whose fundamental natures, in some ways, were responsible for the creation of the Shikon no Tama should have been enough to nullify its power.

"I didn't say it wasn't." Brother stopped pacing and stared thoughtfully at the Scrying Pool, chewing on his lower lip. This was a very knotty problem, not that he would ever admit that to Sister.

The perfect solution came in a flash of brilliance. He amazed even himself at times.

"The hanyou wasn't the problem," he announced suddenly. "And Kikyou wasn't either, really."

"Thank you for your wonderful insight, Mr. Beat-me-over-the-head-with-the-obvious-stick," Sister said. "Now are you going to tell me that clouds turning dark when they are full of rain aren't a problem with clouds?"

"Patience." Brother shot a peeved glance at Sister. "What I'm saying is that Kikyou was a miko. She was born to be a miko and spent her whole life training and honing her miko powers. She didn't know how to be an ordinary woman in love. And Inuyasha didn't know how to love a woman who could destroy him with one touch, and knew it."

Sister's face lit up. "I see. The soul of the miko can handle the Shikon no Tama, but the vessel needs more innocence to handle the hanyou." Her forehead creased in a slight frown "But how can we find an innocent vessel for Kikyou's soul? What if she's already been reincarnated?"

She bit her lip. Their older cousin was in charge of reincarnation. And she didn't take kindly to "children" telling her how to do her job. It might work, though, if they could get the details hammered out and convince her that this plan had the best chance of working.

But, oh my god, the paperwork! Sister did not look forward to writing up their report on this problem. Not to mention the essays explaining themselves if the plan failed. Especially since Brother would probably con her into doing his work for him.

"I've been doing research for another project and look what I found!" Brother leaned over the Scrying Pool. With one fingertip, he carefully touched the surface of the water. The water rippled and, after it cleared, showed a young woman dressed in a 20th century Japanese school uniform. "This is Kagome. She will live at a shrine and have the potential to be as powerful a miko as Kikyou. The best part is that she won't know it, so will be a completely ordinary innocent."

"She's perfect!" exclaimed Sister. Amazingly, he seemed to have put some thought into the plan. And this Kagome girl was pretty. That was probably what had snagged his attention in the first place.

"The bad news is that she won't be born for hundreds of years. In that time, who knows what damage Naraku will cause?"

Sister waved her hand in the air, dismissing Brother's concerns. "That's not a problem for a couple of Time Guardians. We'll just find something that she has access to everyday--that is private, possibly on her family's property—and attach a Time Tunnel to it." She restrained herself from bouncing like a little kid. Maturity, always maturity, she reminded herself. That was the only way she could get anybody to take her seriously.

"Now we'll just have to make sure Kikyou's soul is reborn in Kagome's body and get her and Inuyasha together at the right time." Brother tapped one finger thoughtfully against his chin. "Youkai can smell the scent of the soul, which will still smell of Kikyou a little bit. How do we keep him from killing her before she can explain and win his trust?"

"That won't be a problem." Sister smiled and waved her hand over the Pool, changing the scene to Kikyou's devastated little sister. Kaede. Such a sweet child. Too bad she had to be born in a time of demons and magic. She was not nearly as powerful as Kikyou, but she would do. "We'll just have to introduce a Wise One and a handful of companions to keep the hanyou and the miko grounded and soften the barriers around the hanyou's heart."

Brother grinned at Sister in satisfaction. "Well? What do you think? Is it a good plan?"

Sister laughed. "It's a great plan, Brother! I'm sure that this one will work and no one will have to worry about the Shikon no Tama ever again!"

"Too right, Sister! Like they say: If at first you don't succeed… well, there's always plan B."

**

* * *

**

**Food for Thought: **Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out"?


	3. Touchable

_This story was first uploaded on iyblind, an Inuyasha fanfic challenge community on livejournal, on August 29, 2008._

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha

TOUCHABLE

Inuyasha sulked high in the branches of a tree, pretending to ignore the group lounging around the campfire. Kagome laughed at something Miroku said and his gaze narrowed. If he could set things on fire with the heat of his stare, she would be extra well-done crispy by now.

He shifted position and grimaced, reaching up to rub his shoulder. Stupid girl! She nearly dislocated his shoulder slamming him into the ground so she could disappear to her own era for hours. And she had forbidden him from following. Anything could have happened! It's not like he wouldn't have eventually let her go. She wanted to go home. He forbade it. They argued for a while. And she went home anyway. It was tradition, dammit!

And now she sat around the campfire, giggling with Sango, and totally ignoring him. Honestly, he hadn't even known the taijiya could giggle. He let out a louder grumble than before and rubbed his bruised shoulder again. The only sign that Kagome heard him was a slight stiffening of her back, but she refused to look at him. Inuyasha slouched against the trunk of the tree, crossing his arms, and indulged in a massive pout. Yeah, they would all be crispy critters if he could shoot fire out of his eyes.

"And he just gave it to you?" Sango asked Kagome, her voice rising with the smoke above the crackle of the campfire. Inuyasha twitched his ears, his interest caught. There was something in the taijiya's voice- surprise and a touch of envy?

"Yeah. He's so sweet." Inuyasha gritted his teeth at the admiring tone in Kagome's voice. "He said that it would help me with my condition."

"Does it work?" There was no mistaking Sango's interest.

Inuyasha looked over in time to see Kagome nodding. "It's wonderful. Just a small dab leaves your skin soft and your hair like silk. It's been wonderful for my split ends." She suddenly giggled. He had to stop himself from growling. He never made Kagome giggle like that. "Hojo gave me a whole bottle to help with my eczema. That's what Ji-chan has told everybody to explain my rough skin from being outdoors all the time. And Hojo says that he uses it every day. His hair looked so soft that I just wanted to touch it."

Sango sighed. She looked over at Miroku, who was pretending to meditate on the other side of the fire. "I wish somebody would surprise me with a thoughtful gift like that."

"Why, Sango," Miroku said without even opening his eyes," I'm hurt that you would think so little of me. Didn't I get you that nice dagger in the last town we stopped at?"

"You stole that dagger! And that is not—"

Inuyasha stopped listening. Kagome used something that made her want to touch another boy's hair. She never wanted to touch his hair! Though, he had to admit that his hair was usually covered in demon slime and muck. Was that what she went back to her era for? He glanced at the slender girl who had now joined the taijiya in yelling at the monk. Her hair did have a certain gleam to it, the glow of the fire making it look extremely soft and touchable—like silk. And she smelled almost like flowers. But no flower he had ever smelled before. It was sweet and a little bit musky. Almost enough to make a certain hanyou want to bury his nose in her hair and never leave.

Pulling himself up to a crouch on the branch, he jumped to another tree. There was no sound of alarm and he let out a little sigh of relief. He would go to Kagome's era and find this magic bottle. If it could turn Hojo's hair to silk, then it would do wonders for him. Then Kagome would like him best again. And maybe she wouldn't slam his head into the ground so often.

It didn't take long to reach the magic well when he wasn't burdened with companions. Things had been quiet recently, but he didn't want to leave them without protection for too long. Still, how long could it take to find one silly little bottle and get it to work its wonders on him? Maybe, if he had time, he would even track down this Hojo character and grind his head into the dust a few times. Hah! See if Kagome wanted to run her fingers through his hair then!

Inuyasha popped into Kagome's era in a flash of blue light. He took a deep breath, identifying the mingled scents of her family. Good. No one seemed to be around. Not that he minded all that much playing hero for Souta, but he was in a hurry today.

He crossed the yard in a few quick bounds. His sharp nose told him that Kagome's mother was puttering around in the downstairs portion of the house. Both Souta's and Ji-chan's scents were also thick around the house and grounds, but a couple hours old at least. All he would have to do was climb up to Kagome's room and search.

The window was open, as it always was these days, and he had just begun his search when he realized something. He had no idea what he was looking for. Inuyasha sat down on Kagome's bed with a thump. Where could it be? He had to find that magic bottle. It had become something of an obsession now.

Wait a minute! Kagome said that she used that stuff on her hair and skin. And the only place she put stuff on her hair and skin was in the bathroom!

Excited now, Inuyasha barged into the bathroom before stopping in dismay. He didn't remember there being quite so many bottles before when Souta had talked him into boiling himself. Rows of bottles and jars were arranged haphazardly on shelves, most of them with their own sweet or spicy scent that combined to make one huge olfactory headache for him.

After almost causing himself to pass out by carelessly opening one bottle right under his nose, he exercised a bit more caution. He held the bottle close enough to read the label, but left the top strictly alone. His eyes were starting to swim from all the fumes in the bathroom, but he refused to give up now.

Several minutes of fruitless searching had him ready to shred something when a familiar scent reached his nose through the overpowering musk. Inuyasha looked more closely at the bottle he was currently holding. The label read "Silky Touch," and it smelled like Kagome's hair.

Just a dab, huh? Maybe for wimpy human hair. But he had long, tough demon hair. It took only a few seconds to turn on the water. Kagome had shown him how to work the faucets after that disastrous bath with Souta, and he was careful to test the temperature of the water with the tip of his finger before dousing his hair. He didn't really need to take a bath. Having silky smooth hair would be enough.

Inuyasha upended the bottle and squeezed. He was not prepared for the entire contents to come shooting out. The scent alone was enough to make his head spin, but he gritted his teeth and endured. This would show Kagome who had the prettiest, most touchable hair!

The bathroom was a mess when he finished, water puddling on the floor and bottles strewn everywhere. He hated leaving the mess for Kagome's mom to clean up (she was so nice and accepting) but it was starting to get late. He piled the jars and bottles back on the shelves as best he could, tossing the empty one on top.

He tore out of the house, passing Souta in the hall and ignoring his happy shout. His feet barely touched the ground as he bounded back to the well house and shot into the well. Blue light quickly enfolded him in its magical glow that let him know everything was working just fine.

The sounds of battle filled his ears as he burst back into his own time. Kagome's cry of fear made him forget everything but getting back to her side as quickly as possible.

"Get away from her!" Inuyasha shouted, careening into the ruined campsite. Tetsusaiga sang as he pulled it from its sheath, eager to protect. The giant demon hesitated, clawed hands poised to pluck Kagome off the ground. Sango was pulling herself to her knees on the far side of the clearing, looking dazed. Miroku crouched by her side, cradling the unconscious firecat in one arm.

"Do something, Inuyasha!" Shippou shrieked from the trunk of the tree where one of the demon's spines had pinned him by his clothes.

The demon roared and turned towards him, but then it seemed to choke. It coughed and shook its head, staggering backwards several paces. Blinking, it sniffed in Inuyasha's direction. It immediately sneezed, and couldn't seem to stop. Coughing, sneezing, and retching the demon turned tail and stumbled away from the little group as fast as it could.

Miroku stared after the retreating demon. "That was strange."

"No kidding." Shippou tore himself loose and plummeted to the forest floor. He picked himself up and brushed leaves out of his hair. "You would think that he smelled something bad."

"Kagome, are you all right?" Inuyasha ignored everyone else in favor of checking on Kagome.

"Yeah," Kagome said shakily. "Just a little banged up."

"What is that stench?" Sango asked, joining them and wrinkling her nose. She looked fine, except for a new scratch on her cheek. "It smells like someone bathed in a vat of stinkweed."

"What smell? I don't smell anything," Inuyasha grumped. He had completely ruined his sense of smell pawing through the bottles in Kagome's bathroom. At the moment, he couldn't even smell himself.

Kagome wrinkled her cute little nose. "It smells like" She paused and appeared to be thinking. Suddenly, her gaze snapped to Inuyasha and she narrowed her eyes. Inuyasha swallowed and took an uncertain step back.

She reached out and wrapped her hand in Inuyasha's hair before he could do more than yelp in surprise. Holding a hank of his hair to her nose, she inhaled deeply. He barely had time to realize that his plan was working and Kagome was touching his hair when her grasp tightened and she yanked.

"Your hair smells like that very expensive shampoo that Hojo gave me."

"It does?" Inuyasha protested weakly.

"What did you do?" Kagome emphasized each word with a cruel tug on his hair.

"Nothing! It was an accident! You said that stupid boy's hair was more touchable than mine!"

There was stunned silence for a moment as that last statement sank in. Miroku was trying not to laugh, and Sango rolled her eyes. Kagome looked ready to boil over.

With what looked like an enormous effort, Kagome closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, Inuyasha was terrified anew by the calculating look in her eyes. Her fingers loosened their grip and she stroked his hair softly, like a kitten. He resisted the ridiculous urge to purr.

"It is very soft and silky," she said in an even tone. "It must have taken the entire bottle to get this shine."

"It did!" Inuyasha nodded eagerly, breathing a sigh of relief that the threatened Kagome storm seemed to be over. "I had to use the whole bottle to wash out the demon gunk because long white hair is harder to clean. But you like me best again, right?" His words trailed off into uncertainty. Kagome was still stroking his hair, but almost absently, like she wasn't really paying attention. He decided to back away slowly. Before he could move more than one step, Kagome wrapped his hair around her fist and pulled his face down to hers.

"Let's make a deal, Inuyasha," Kagome began in that same pleasant tone. Then her voice hardened to steel. "Unless you want me to rip your silky, touchable hair out by the roots, you will do whatever I say for the next month! If I want to go home, you will get me there at the speed of yesterday! You will do all of my chores and anything anyone else wants you to do! There will be no backtalk or whining of any kind! Is that understood?"

"Isn't that a little harsh, Lady Kagome?" Miroku asked from his safe position cowering behind Sango.

"Not harsh enough," Kagome muttered, an evil glint coming into her eyes. She ignored the terrified pleading in Inuyasha's eyes and uttered her last edict. "Then you will find Hojo and apologize for ruining his gift. You will offer to do chores for him in return for more bottles of shampoo. As many as he will give you"

"More shampoo?" Inuyasha squeaked. He could understand replacing the one he destroyed, but what did Kagome need with a lot? Her hair was always silky smooth.

Kagome abruptly released the hanyou. Surprised, Inuyasha lost his balance and hit the ground.

"We'll have to keep your hair silky smooth and touchably soft somehow," she remarked. "Maybe Hojo has different scents. I don't think gardenia really suits you. And next time, don't forget the ears."

She walked away, leaving the stunned hanyou in the dirt. He thought about what she said, and then he smirked.

"I knew having silky, touchable hair would make her like me best!"

**

* * *

**

**Brought to you by Food for Thought it's Wacky Warnings:**

A household iron warns users: "Never iron clothes while they are being worn." 


End file.
